Backwards/Forwards

As a kid, I had to be told all the time, "You always start on the RIGHT in math." This is because I would want to do math problems in the same direction I wrote sentences. I would start on the left and add or subtract in the wrong direction. Now, I am not dyslexic...I never have been. But my hand eye coordination needed a lot of help, and my sense of direction, and space... well, I remember, cursive handwriting was very challenging for me because my fine motor skills... were not so "fine tuned.". Sometimes when I would write sentences, I would want to start on the right, instead of the left...and even after I would correct this, many of my letters were backwards...spaced very far apart. They were giant... Like I was attempting to make a BANNER...while I was really drunk. Sometimes, my teacher would take my hand in hers and help me structure the letters...precise strokes...within the lines... I remember those handwriting exercises:

The same letter, in a straight line across the page...all the way to the end.

I needed them, because my writing was usually at a slant, with my letters looking more like puzzle pieces, or giant chicken scratches. It was almost as if my brain wanted to work the other way, and I had to train it not to. Weird. But, so I am. A learning disability made it take a bit longer to stay on the straight and narrow, you could say. But, happily, I've overcome well. My handwriting today is pretty and straight and thankfully, very legible!

Imagine my surprise when I learned that the Hebrew language is written, and read, from right to left! On this crazy faith journey, I've been learning so much about the Jewish roots of the man Yeshua, whom I claim to believe is my Messiah. But what have I really known about his actual life, or the way he lived? Not much...considering I've been too busy focussing on his DEATH and what that's done for ME. Ironic. Talk about the writing being on the wall!! What's more...I could not read a word of it. I mean, why would an American, Evangelical Christian girl like me who's never been to seminary learn any Hebrew?

But my point is, that suddenly, something I'd done almost instinctively...was right. Now I can only type English words here (I'm sure there is a way to change that, but I still need to learn how to do this), but I've begun to learn several Hebrew letters now, and when I read and write them...guess what I get to do? Go. BACKWARDS! And guess what? It's not wrong...it's RIGHT! It's CORRECT!! And guess what the letters remind me of? Puzzle pieces...and giant chicken scratches! (Hey, each Hebrew letter paints a picture!). So, as a child I wrote huge, backwards letters that no one could read (except me and God). These letters needed to be corrected. Now, as an adult, I'm looking at, and learning huge, backwards letters no one (around me) can read...except God! These letters are RIGHT! These letters do not need to be corrected. God, (and other people who speak Hebrew) knows EXACTLY what they say! He just needs to teach me. As a child, this is how I felt about my own writing: I (and God) could read and understand it perfectly...I just needed to teach others what it said.

Now, let me be rightly understood. I am talking about an emotional connection with the person I claim is my savior. This is a "connection" that He was working out long before I ever...TOOK AN INTEREST IN HEBREW?? I told you: Why would an American, Evangelical, Christian girl, who's never been to seminary AND who is not JEWISH...take an interest in Hebrew?? Now, whenever I see any Hebrew letters, and I wonder what they say :), or I see my old school papers and I KNOW what they say, I'll understand! This is Jesus, showing me HIMSELF, literally on paper, in HIS language! But he BEGAN with my own...the chicken scratches that only he could read when I was a kid. He has now connected that to his own writing...and it's his way of showing me (emotionally): "I love You. You Belong to Me. We are CONNECTED to each other in life...not just in a bloody death that is nearly impossible for you to comprehend. All I can say is: Ladies and gentleman, let the evidence speak for itself: Jesus is real.



Okay; here's my "disclaimer" if you will:

I was never actually drunk as a child :) (duh) That's a metaphor.
The Hebrew language is not backwards and neither is English.
They just go in different directions. :)
Hebrew writing is not slanted...my writing as a kid was.
Hebrew writing is not chicken scratches, but many of the "jots" and other marks
of this visual language can resemble scratches or scribbles...and so did my writing as a kid.
When I say, "He began with my language". I simply mean he showed me something I was able
to understand emotionally.
I'm not saying anything lofty, as though something needed to be
"interpreted". I'm no scribe or Pharisee, just a girl talking about an experience. :)