I came across an article a couple days ago on Kveller.com. The article was written by a divorced mother who was talking about how difficult it is to be a divorced mom and also be Jewish & raise your children that way. She said that people would just tell her to "get over it...and make room in her life for being Jewish.". She talked about the high cost of Jewish Day School, camp and Bar/Bah Mitzvah's. Then she said something that just made my blood boil. She said she would go to synagogue, and the best seats would always go to the members who paid full membership dues. She could not afford these...
So what did this mother and her children have to do?...go and sit in a "lower" place and then suffer the self-consciousness of everyone always knowing about it? Divorce, by itself, is one of the most painful things anyone can go though...especially for children. Church is a place where anyone attending needs to have complete freedom to be there, and know that they will not be judged. What kind of example is set for children who've just been through such a thing...and are now made to feel as though they are "less than" because their now single mother can't afford the "good" seats at church? I must confess the first thing I thought of was James ch. 2, where Yeshua warns about "esteeming" a rich man with a nice ring who walks into a synagogue, and give him the "good" seats, while you tell the poor man to. "go stand in the corner over there, or sit on the floor at my feet.". In theory, isn't this what was done to his divorced mom? The question I found myself asking was what if the poor(er) people are the folks who really NEED the best seats in the house?
Now, this lovely lady did add to her story that she was grateful that her synagogue has dues designed for single parents. I loved her attitude, but still felt a knot in my stomach because it seemed to me that she was still being demeaned...just in a more manageable way. Okay...in my opinion, NO ONE should have to pay a penny to get into church...least of all, a single mom struggling to raise her children by herself. This reality is an embarrassment to me because I've spent so much time praising Judaism to the skies because the faith seems to have such deep roots, and a strong moral code, and a strong attachment to where people come from. What this woman was told however was down right cruel. Whomever said that to her was making a wound and then pouring salt in it too. Awful. As I read it, I was reminded of another article I read that Mayim Bialik wrote after her father died. She'd gone into temple to pray and find solace...and someone was trying to engage her in unwanted conversation. She snapped at this person, and was rude to them. But Miss Mayim realized she'd been unkind and she apologized to them after the fact. So, when folks were allowed to comment on the article, Mayim was barraged with scrutiny from people saying how wrong it was for her to have been rude in the temple like that. How could she have been so disrespectful. I'm sorry...WHAT?? That's ALL you got out of that?? Now some people did say that what she did was understandable...she was upset, and she needed to be left alone...it's good that she apologized too...
At least someone gets it...but you know, trying to follow protocol to the letter & always make sure it's correct, simply does not leave room for kindness or mercy or grace. This is why Jesus told people that the kind of religion he considered acceptable was taking care of widows and orphans. He said that even a cup of cold water given in his name would not be overlooked. What grieves my heart is that there are rabbi's out there who will tell their congregations that Jesus genealogy is fake. They use this as part of their argument that there's no way he could ever be the true messiah. Listen anyone is entitled to think whatever they want...but for someone who was such a liar, Jesus spoke a lot of truth, didn't he? Besides, if these same rabbi's won't read the Br't Hadasha (because maybe they think it's an abomination), how do they even know what Jesus (Yeshua) said, or what he was all about??
Anyway, single momma's raising kids need love and support, and help...especially from their place of worship. They have the hardest job on earth, and they are doing it without the help of a husband. But what I wonder is why it is that anyone's "seat" in a church would be connected to a financial amount anyway. I mean, this seems like a prehistoric idea that would cause a revolt or a movement, ya know? Now, I understand...things are expensive...they cost money, particularly if there are special processes involved, like making sure food is kosher, for example. Things need to be kept up and replaced and people need salaries...but what exactly is unbiblical about tithes and offerings? GIVE God 10% off the top of the income he's blessed you with, and then offer more based on the plenty he's given you. And, by the way...you may sit anywhere you like! This is the world that I come from, and in light of what I'm now finding out...I'm wondering why I wanted to "go" someplace else.
I am not saying that all synagogues are the same and that folks who run them are uncaring. But both of the articles I'm referring to here, showed me that in Judaism, love and acceptance is conditional, it is rewards based, and the criteria for mercy SEEMS to be whether or not it benefits the GIVER, rather than the reciever. Al of this, while Christian's seem to be frowned upon for trusting in the One who said "Give generously without expecting anything in return." This is love. It's like a drink of water in the barren desert. This is what I know...it's where I come from. So why did I ever leave it?
James 1:27 (widows & orphans)
Matt. 10:42 (Cold water given in my name).
Luke 6:35 (Give without expecting in return)
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